lost in time

When you look at a tombstone and view the birthday and death date of a person you will notice the little line in between that represents the life of them. I feel like my line is being waisted and I can't fucking stop it. I feel that I am not serving my true purpose and every time I try their are always consequences. I feel like my survival is based on me serving everyone else except me. I see no future in anything...not the way I am living. I am so tired and yet I can't see anything that shows why except for the fact that I am not completely lost. I'm tired of wearing a face that gets me through the day. I wish I can be who I feel I am inside. I wish I can be seen for who I am and not just what I am to others. At this point I can't see the difference between the line that seperates the birthday and death date from death its self. Surviving is not truley living. Surviving must be all I am doing, because I rarely feel alive anymore.